I remember the day I considered getting a smartphone for the first time. Before that, I was using a simple cell phone that makes calls and occasionally have abandoned. I do not suppose I need something more sophisticated than that – I mean, I’m just a girl with a blog, right?
Time walking and I found myself really need a smartphone that I purchased. Then came tablets – I probably need one of those, too, right? For those times when the phones are not enough?
These two things quickly become both an anchor and a noose around my neck – I was always reachable and available, which meant that I had to answer, even though I was in the midst of living life in the world real.
It turns out that? These distractions are things that can not only make us feel pressured to do it faster, but can finally put a serious brake on our relationships. Here are the biggest offenders.
Every wedding know the misery and conflict that is perfectly normal. It is not the conflict that is the problem, it is how the disagreement is handled. Nagging is toxic to the communication marriage. Men and women will humiliate the other until it destroys all remember what you liked together. When an individual repeatedly attack and criticism of the personality of their partner rather than the behavior that bothers you an imbalance in the relationship grows and self-esteem is affected. It can be a verbal attack of insults, profanity, hostile behavior and body language. Attacking your partner in this way is disrespectful and violent. You will usually see your partner on the defensive and begin to withdraw to contact you. This will develop a sense of resentment and emotional distance in your marriage. Psychologist John Gottman has studied more than 1,000 married and he reports that when these behaviors are present in a marriage there is a 94% chance that the relationship will fail.
Believe Your Brain
Scientists have identified a flaw in human evolution. Our brains are wired to respond to unpleasant emotions such as life-threatening. On the one hand, they produce these emotions as a response to our experience, but on the other hand they do everything in their power to prevent us from feeling. Talk about working against the current!
So what does this have to do with your relationships? Whenever you experience painful feelings about your partner, you instinctively closed. You become tense, agitated, and your pact all about conflict management as an opportunity inevitably window.
But the good news is that your brain can be repeated for maximum successful relationships. This rewiring process is called emotional connection. It is easy to learn, can be done on your own and has no power tools. Seriously, emotional connection requires nothing more complicated than learning to “surf” on your emotions like a wave in the ocean. You can even target such as surfing with great sophistication, the identification of specific emotions that cause you the most problems.
Once you begin to feel these emotions, instead of fighting, the relationships become much less of a challenge. You are always able to stay at your best self – open, curious, wise, kind and cheerful. In other words, irresistible.
This is more for the younger crowd, but it still happens sometimes with people of all ages. It is understandable that sometimes in a relationship you could feel underestimated or neglected. Tell your partner something along the lines of “so and so told me that I’m pretty” or “this and that would do this for me because you will not” will not improve the situation at all. It does infuriate and aggravate your partner. If you instead talk about how you feel and be completely honest, it is possible to work through things. Men and women both have jealousy in their nature and provocation, this can sometimes be the wrecking ball of all relationships.
Although it may seem cute to women, most men hate that. This is where your partner asks if you want to do something and you say something along the lines of “Ok, if that’s what you want to do.” This start the conversation and in theory, it will be something along the lines of “Well, what do you wanna do?” Then back and forth until finally your partner ends up doing exactly what you wanted to do instead of what they wanted to do. This may seem like a good idea, but it really is not. When (and I mean when, not if) your partner catches, he / she will be pretty disgusted. The compromise is a huge part of a relationship and being selfish is not compromised.
It is easy to fall into selfishness and laziness in both relationships and personal development. It takes discipline to continue and be aware of what the other person really wants. Sometimes you do things that you do not really want to do, but you can inject joy into a job like this simply by focusing on how someone else feel good. Serve others naturally feel. We are made to love and help, as cliché as it may seem. Volunteers and I can guarantee you that you will feel better afterwards. Life is to give than to receive. Giving you apply in relationships and you will see that when you give the other person is more likely to give as well.
Fighting ruin relationships
Actually, “The fighting can be really healthy and an important form of communication and cleaner air.”
In addition, the type of fight a couple plays a role. It is not surprising, nasty, dismissive or condescending fights that leave couples lower resolution and not talking days damage the relationship. Conflicts that contribute to productive relationships end with “a mutual decision on how to handle this disagreement,” Blum said.
Lack of Growth
A relationship in which one party is on the path of growth and the other is on the path of laziness is a recipe for disaster. Sooner or later, people will start to surpass the other, how the delay starts to feel uncomfortable because something happens they report no longer sufficient. This is why so many people who start more and more resistance to many things. If you grow, then it means that something is wrong with the people who practice non-growth.