Do you sometimes feel like you’re speaking English and he’s talking Martian? Chances are it’s more than bad communication. In this Lifescript exclusive, relationship guru Alison Armstrong reveals the 10 common mistakes women make with men, and how to relate to guys on their wavelength. Plus, find out if you’re in a healthy relationship. [Read:
Mistakes Women Make in a Relationship
Too Much Expectations
Women with low selfesteem expect marriage to bring total fulfillment. But they’re doomed to disappointment when Prince Charming doesn’t meet expectations. Choose a compatible mate, not a mn you think will solve your problems. Ask any married woman – happily or not – men can not, and do not, solve all your problems.
Clinginess, neediness and leaching on to your partner are the ultimate no-no’s that can rip at a relationship to the point of no return. No one wants a person who needs constant affirmation, attention, and insight into every single little thing we do.
If you were on the receiving end of all that clinginess you’d probably feel suffocated too. But, sometimes, cause of our previous letdowns, or just the sheer amount of attraction for the guy we can get a little bit carried away in wanting to have him all for ourselves.
If you’re guilty of this, better snap back soon, or it’s a bye-bye relationship!
Don’t play the headache card. It’s just such a bad excuse.
Yes, sure, no one’s in the mood all the time, and as the relationship gets older it can sometimes happen that the sex gets showed at the end of your priority list. With jobs, and other obligations and responsibilities, maybe sometimes you’re tired, other times you just don’t have the time. But keeping your sex life alive and kicking is very important – if you let it die out it’s not gonna spell good for your relationship.
Over the years women’s standards and requirements have lowered. Men know that and have taken advantage of it. Many woman don’t require anything of a man. So many standards have been lowered by women that now a man doesn’t have to climb over a very high bar to get to her. So now you have more men who can get away with more things with more women without any repercussions. Don’t accept less than you deserve – and you deserve everything!
Sticking to Past
Women hold on to their past love even though they may agree that the relationship was unhealthy. This unfortunately happens when a break up occurs and a woman is left alone. Before she finds her new love, she may hold on her emotions to her ex lover in fear of experiencing present loneliness. Wanting to feel the sense of belonging makes her jealous of her ex’s lovers. Although she has no intentions of making up with her ex, this feeling keeps her depressed and disconnected. This makes it difficult to open up to a new relationship because of the walls around her.
Not Trusting Him
This is an almost immediate cause for a down spiral relationship. When a woman suddenly stops trusting her guy or never had trust in the first place. It does become obvious in a short time because no trust brings, suspicions and that leads to reading too much out of everything, then accusations that leads to quarrels; then no communication – then withdrawals and before you know it you are single again.
Ignoring His Needs
Just as every woman has a slightly different definition of romance, each man has different needs, too – a different definition of what he needs in order to feel comfortable and secure in a relationship. Maybe he wants to talk to you by phone after work every day. Maybe he wants you to be more aggressive in the bedroom. If you ignore those needs, it can cause a gap in your relationship over time.
This is particularly dangerous to your ability to stay together if he has expressly stated what he needs from you and you still blow off his requests. Your actions tell him you don’t really care enough to satisfy his needs – the equivalent of saying you don’t really care about HIM.
Maybe his requests are difficult for you to fulfill. Certainly anything illegal or unhealthy is out of the question, but if his needs are something you could fulfill and you don’t, you need to question why. Have a mature discussion with your guy about why you are struggling with meeting his needs. If he knows how you feel it will be easier for him to help you so the two of you can work things out together. If he is just left to wonder why you don’t care, he might wonder if he wouldn’t be happier with someone else.
If you aren’t a partner in your boyfriend’s life and you expect him to take care of you, it’s as if you are constantly emptying his emotional bank account. Someday, there will be no deposit amount left in his account for you – and I’m not talking money.
Life is hard work. It is filled with responsibilities, high moments, low moments, stress, and demands. If he is the only one taking care of those, he’s going to get very tired, very fast and it will become obvious to him at some point that he’s the only one giving anything to the relationship, [Read: How to Give Space in a Relationship to Your Boyfriend]. You’ve got to give something back. Help him through stressful periods and find ways to make his life easier, too.
Women are known to keep commitments and promises among both the sexes, and that is an universal fact. But the natives of Venus are also humans and can sway on finding a better prospect. You are not happy with the way the bond is shaping up, and are not fully satisfied with your boyfriend, also you do not want to leave him. Your eyes begin to rove, you start flirting in an unhealthy way, and at last, you cheat on him! The reason for this mistake is – you didn’t take the effort to enliven the dying relationship, you failed in the relationship and didn’t talk it out with your boyfriend/husband. So, take all the efforts to make the relationship work; if not, quit, but not cheat or be with two persons.
Fighting in Public
Although men can start fighting in public. You hear gossip about it with someone in the workplace from a trusted source or not trusted. But without thinking for a second, gives the volcano seething fire in you. Without finding the relevance of information, to rage, to storm their workplace or any other place, and fighting in public view. Is not that embarrassing? No matter how angry you are, this can not be explained or justified. Although they are struggling because they have a point, or because you like it, or deeply hurt, more than anything else, you are providing ideas for gossip dealers to spin stories, and this highlights the weak base their relationship with other people around. So stop providing entertainment gossip hungry public. Is your guy defend in public, but do not attack or strangle him in public. Note – You are being ridiculous, your partner and your relationship. This is also true for the demonstration of affection, some guys do not like PDA and what’s better not force you to show your love in public. [Read: 5 Things a Couple Should Not Do in the Public]